Let me introduce you...

The new side of me

2011-10-25T17:20:00.000-07:00

So as I'm now in my second year I've decided to take my passion for film to a new level. Although this blog was just going to be about my writing I don't see why my love for writing and film have to be kept separate. I'm taking a PMAF course at Uni which is all hands on experience with the cameras. It's been pretty amazing so far, but even just learning to love short films has been my most valid lesson.

Here are a few I think the world should open their eyes too the way I have...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hIV-TjNEEVc&feature=player_embedded

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PTdzCAGH3lU

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fxQcBKUPm8o

http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=O0-_1s_U0mc

A dedication and declaration

2011-08-26T14:50:00.000-07:00

What will never be...

My world is shady,

like looking at a reflection in a river.

The picture is there but it is interspersed

with waves and ripples.

There is love in me,

but it has no place to reside.

I have words to be spoken but no voice,

you want to listen but have no time.

I sit at 5:07 at my window smoking.

A cigarette, to calm my frayed nerves.

The unworried people of Bath

endlessly continue to lay,

as though to taunt me.

My mind flits from one thing to another,

my leg shakes in restlessness

as the sun brightens through my dulcet curtains.

You play on my mind mirroring the melody in your song.

Somehow I can still smell you,

and for the tiniest moment its almost true,

I feel like your holding me my neck open to your kiss.

The hold turns into a whisper

and you're no longer there.

You aren't mine nor ever will be

But I've a need to say that I love you.
I have no fear or pride I need protect.

Like the sun that rises every morning,

I too shine with pride for you endlessly.

I know there's much more to you,
than what you think I see.

You bring out the best in me,

and forever I will hold onto our time together.

If I were a smile on your face I would linger
Never to let sadness chase me too far away

The thought of saying these things,

makes me wonder if you'll stay.

If you'll still be my best friend,

without being forced to ride this out.

Time remains for me,

Different but not the same,

Sleep holding us, keeping you in my dreams,

I pray morning will hold off,

For us, For me.

Finding comfort in the smallest things....

2011-08-22T17:36:00.000-07:00

Some times you just need quality time alone in order to fix the puzzles in your head.

This week has been one hell of a broken puzzle for me and there are a few things that have gotten me through it (bar my bed and serious amounts of chocolate)

Ed Sheeran

http://www.youtube.com/user/EdSheeran#p/a/u/0/Npp7ZFOgpyM

E.E. Cummings

http://allpoetry.com/poem/8494105-somewhere_i_have_never_travelled-by-e_e_cummings

Films that remind me of my childhood

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FYzXaYmFQjo

Check these out. They're worth it.

Friend or Foe?

2011-08-22T17:31:00.000-07:00

Sorry I haven't posted in a while, things have been kinda tough. I recently moved into a new house in Bath with three other people and I couldn't be more excited, but the good things always come with the bad things. The last few days I've spent a lot of time wondering about relationships and why we strive to much to keep them going.

Flatmates are those people that become your new family. They're the people that take you in and look out for you no matter what, but its not their responsibility they choose to do this. Flatemates are more than just friends

Friends are more complex. Best friends are there for you even if you have a smile on your face. They can tell without a word being muttered that you're going though something difficult. My best friend once told me that no matter what he'd turn back in a zombie wasteland in order to pick me up and help me out. This may seem a little odd, but that's what best friends are, indescribable and unable to explain. They just have a sixth sense for you're pain.

Then there's those friends that just pop in and out of your life. for some reason you don't want to say goodbye to them because they have got your back, but spending too much time together is just too much effort - be it because they're always busy, or you are, or that they simply lead another life.... At the end of the day they're still there and still make you feel amazing when you do get to spend quality time with them.

The people you can't shift are those who've been there for the longest and your family. The few you have left that will never desert you.

Three people that deserve credit in my life for putting up with me....

My mum, hero and role model - Dawn Johnson

My best friend, flatmate and general favourite person - Elliot Taylor

My oldest friend, angel from afar and absolute babe - Andy Davies

Thank you.

Female Form

2011-07-11T17:48:00.000-07:00

Being at home is amazing, the self replenishing cupboards, the laundry done and folded on my bed, the fact that I don't actually have to do anything with my time, its all a luxury for us student folk. But after a while I started to go out my mind with boredom. I even took it upon myself to do house work and my own washing just to busy myself. It was when I was at breaking point that I decided I needed a hobby. I check round the house and stumbled upon all my old art work. I remembered how much I used to love doing art and how I'd completely abandoned it all. So I've started to pick it back up and have been non-stop scribbling sketches, canvases, watercolours, oil pastels - you name it I've attempted it.

However over the past few days, having been to a life drawing class a week ago, I haven't been able to stop drawing women (not in a sexual way, just an appreciation of the female form).
I've been researching famous artists who focus on femininity and have found some amazing artwork.

http://www.stumbleupon.com/su/3vaNs6/awesomator.net/content/diego-fernandez

This is Diego Fernandez and some of his portraits have inspired me to do similar work.
Hope you guys appreciate his beautiful and sometimes wacky work as much as I do.

Molly - my Lassie

2011-07-11T17:32:00.000-07:00

My beloved childhood friend, Molly the dog passed away recently.

As a child growing up, having a sidekick was the coolest thing in the world.
I was so lucky to have someone following in my foot steps and boy did I know it!
She followed me through the wilderness on jungle expeditions, she was the evil shark in the water when I was a pirate of the seven seas, my play thing when I wanted to play hairdressers, my trusty steed in when I duelled in the wild west.

I was't there when she passed away because I went off to university and set sail for my own adventure. Now she's on one of her own.

As my loyal sidekick, I never really allowed her to show her true potential. Yet she always stood by my heel.
Unlike Lassie she won't come home any more.

RIP Molly, my Lassie.

Blogging and Logging

2011-07-11T16:56:00.000-07:00

I am new to the whole idea of blogging and had anyone proposed I write one a few months ago i would of raised my lip and squinted in a disgusted manor at the thought alone. However, the last few months I have spent at home I have found my head filled with ideas, stories and experiences I'd like to share with you. Being a Creative Writing student I am always encouraged to jot down ideas for plots or characters, but this will become my new way of capturing experimental scribblings.

So tonight my head has been plagued with the problems of others. The word that seems to be causing this chaos...Love. Although Love can be heart-warming and spine tingling, and all the bodily functions that to be honest can be brought on with a bottle of wine and a good book, Love can also be a b-i-t-c-h.
In the modern day Love has been tainted with facebook and texting, by a couple being 'facebook official' or "well he texted me saying...". It makes me think, if we spend so much of our time these days worrying 'does he miss me', 'does she still like me', 'why can't I be with her', are we loosing sight of the old school days of romance.
It draws a tear to my eye thinking of greats such as Clark Gable, Carry Grant, Betty Davis and Vivien Leigh texting each other to see if they want to 'hook up'.
Why is it so hard to go to their door to talk through the problems you have with them, or write them a heart felt letter - something they can treasure in person or in memory.

Is a little effort too hard to ask?

I carry your heart by E.E Cummings

I carry your heart with me (I carry it in my heart)

I am never without it (anywhere

I go you go, my dear; and whatever is done
by only me is your doing, my darling)

I fear no fate (for you are my fate, my sweet)

I want no world (for beautiful you are my world, my true)
and it's you are whatever a moon has always meant
and whatever a sun will always sing is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
(here is the root of the root and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky of a tree called life; which grows
higher than the soul can hope or mind can hide)
and this is the wonder that's keeping the stars apart

I carry your heart (I carry it in my heart)